How to Build or Remodel a Home in Miami without Getting FK'd
A Real Homeowner's Guide to Surviving Construction, Contractors and Chaos
Miami was the Battlefield, but the War is Everywhere.
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“Available now in print, eBook, and audiobook formats—choose the version that fits your lifestyle.”
Also Available on AudioBook & Ebook
About the Book
How to Build or Remodel a Home in Miami without Getting FK'd
by Samuel Cunado (Author)
Thinking of building or remodeling in Miami?
Get ready to get FK’D—unless you read this first.
This book is your unofficial survival guide to the wild, corrupt, sun-drenched world of residential construction in South Florida. Whether you’re building from the ground up or just remodeling the kitchen, expect delays, lies, markups, inspectors who ghost you, and contractors who disappear when it’s time to pour concrete.
Written by someone who lived it and paid for it—literally—How to Build or Remodel a Home in Miami Without Getting FK’D exposes what really happens behind jobsite fences and polished renderings.
Inside, you’ll learn:
- Why your dream design may come with a nightmare budget.
- How architects, GCs, and inspectors play the blame game.
- The real cost of hiring the wrong architect or subcontractor—or trusting the right one too much.
- Why every payment should be documented like a criminal trial.
Hilarious, raw, and packed with hard-earned lessons, this is the book you need before you lift a hammer or sign a check.
What Readers Say
“Read a sample of the book and decide if it earns a place on your shelf.”
The Word the Never Explain
“In Spanish, the translation for General Contractor is ‘Contratista’… Contra means ‘against,’ Ti means ‘you,’ so when you hire a Contratista, linguistically speaking, what you’re getting is someone who’s against-you.”
The Real Cost of a Dream
“Because building or remodeling your dream home shouldn’t feel like surviving a hostage negotiation.”
Why This is Unlikely Broken
“It’s a cocktail of Latin American improvisation, American bureaucracy, and South Florida dysfunction.”
The Unwritten Truth that Nobody Tells you
“Your accent is part of your budget.”